I hadn't cut in almost 7yrs then I gave in while extremely depressed and I think the meds stopped working then. That was a few weeks ago. Pdoc upped dose and the depression I thought went away after the higher dose took affect.

My stressors for that time period have also ended. My wedding is over. My first business trip in my new position is done and yet here I am fantasizing about the blade and the rush I'll receive. Thankfully my new marks weren't very deep they will fade to nothing by the end of the yr. yet I sit here craving it!! I want it so bad yet I cannot give in, it would ruin everything I've worked for the last 6yrs. It would also destroy my recent marriage. I don't know what to do. I see Pdoc tomorrow afternoon and yet I always fear if I bring it up she main want to put me in a controlled environment and that's just not possible.

Any suggestions?