I totally get you.I'm the same. I am veering towards not being able to watch it at all now, but I still can find myself kind of transfixed especially to sexual assaults/rapes, and yet I have no known experience of sexual abuse as a child.However, I have had dubious degrading sexual experiences as an adult, and yet I had a strong response to sexual violence prior to those experiences, although it did get more extreme once I had those experiences.

Any movies/tv show which highlight the issue of paedophilia really makes me go zoned out and weird and I watch it in a really odd way, almost like I feel realy moved by it and yet at the same tinme feel nothing at all.I feel a bit like nothing on earth could distract me from what I'm watching, and I feel less in my own body if that makes sense. I can't explain it.