((Mowtown)),

Right now you have a big challenge in your life. Anyone would be stressing with the challenge you are sorting through. But, you also struggle with PTSD, from a trauma that took place which resulted in your experiencing a "stress breakdown". Right now, because you struggle with PTSD, things are magnified and you are very "sensitive", this is what everyone posting in this forum is dealing with, including myself.

When someone struggles with PTSD, they are much more sensitive to "stressors" and they are very confused about that challenge. So anything that stresses them is going to be difficult, so if a person is also dealing with a "real stressful" situation, that person is going to have a much more difficult time. That has been my problem too, not only did I have a trauma that lead to my experiencing a "stress breakdown", but I also was still consistently "stressed" by also having a lawyer who was failing mentally and a great deal of debt that I was left with and a very unsupportive family.

I never in my life imagined I would go through what I have been going through. Was I scared, you bet your life I was scared. Sometimes it seemed like I was paranoid, but, I was not paranoid, I was totally stressed and at times I could barely function.

What helped me? Well, what helped me was having a relationship with a therapist that kept me grounded and validated that I really was being challenged and that it was aggrivating the PTSD. I was also "retraumatized" in what I had been dealing with and I can honestly say, I think you are having that kind of challenge right now too. I think that what you need is to have a therapist that can help you stay grounded during this challenge tbh.

You have been doing everything "right" Mowtown, you have been working through the "stresses" that you have in your life right now, but that process is triggering you at times, and you need to have someone who can listen to you and just help you through this challenge. That is what my T does with me. He listens in a respectful way, actually as what a good caring parent would, or a good friend or mentor.

The therapist you have now, is he doing that with you? It's fine to identify these traumatic things you have been working on, but you need to also have help with what is in the "now" that is stressing you too.

If you notice, pretty much everyone interacting in this forum is struggling with stressors in "the now" too. A lot of it is slowly learning to manage the "stress' we are all dealing with while we are all working through PTSD. And quite honestly, every single one of us is scared in one way or the other and we all feel "alone" too.

BUT, we are not alone, because we do have each other here to lean on, others that can relate to everything we struggle with on some level, but on that some level that each of us is challenged with called "PTSD".

It is not "paranoia" or something that "is not real", we all experienced a "stress breakdown" and when we are stressed we "struggle" and we are all "scared" too.
There is not one person struggling here that is not a good person either, we are all good people, but we struggle and we all have to slow down and realize when "stress' is getting to us, and work on doing our best to reduce it in whatever ways we can.

You are going to work through this one day at a time. You have a challenge taking place right now, it's a stressful one and it's going to take time until you can settle down with it and move forward.

(((Caring and understanding Hugs)))
OE