I'm at a lost for words, even though I know about these things. I can't seem to trust anyone. I can't trust myself. I feel so ashamed when I like or crush on anyone ever.

It feels like if I like someone I'm weak to the girl I meet. When everything was fine beforehand, they get over flirtatious and then throw you away like trash. The rejection is ok, but just putting me through a ringer so you would feel superior than every other girl and guy out there. Being an asshole doesn't make you look any prettier hun. I can tell you that.

I seriously I'm forever alone, because I'm so ****ing damaged and fed up by this. I'm completely masochistic, I don't want any girl to come up to me. I'm about to say no no no. No more, I'm not doing this.

I've been hurt too much. Having any feelings feels like I am dying and that I'm being abused emotionally when I don't want it to.
I can't get close, I don't care they leave. I get more upset when they show up.

Seriously I'm so sick of that crap. And then female friends of mine console me with lame advice about more confidence and irrelevant stuff when they ask what's wrong. I'm at the point, **** it.
Seriously **** it.

I'm not dating people I wasn't on planning to, but **** being pushed away a lot by people all the time sucks *** a lot. When a girl comes up to me and tries to be flirtatious I can go along with it fine. I just hate it.
I hate getting numbers, I hate texting girls, I hate the whole process. It sucks all of it. It's not fun, it's a complete waste of time and emotions and pain in the ***.

Call me butt hurt for not getting laid or no girl wants me. I don't care. I'm just tired of being treated like garbage, because I'm a guy or a boy toy.
Sick of girls using me for sex and being a ****** friend over all. There's no hope, seriously. I'm not "manly" enough for their liking after being dominant no problem. So you just hope to the next best thing.

I don't care if girls are sexually active everywhere or dating whoever they want, but don't try to make want to be your friend. Make a false pretense I'm too nice and a pushover and try to get what you want from me and leave me.

You are no better than the guys who leave you. So when this happens to me, all I can do is ignore them. I don't care if she is mad, the fact this is childish and these games are for just your kicks and to boost your self esteem because it's so low you bully. I want nothing to do with you.

I wish I wasn't a guy tbh. I can be a guy no problem, but I surely hate it a lot.

This is all I can accept it's happened all my life so far and it will continue till I die. I will die alone with all those hearts that tried to destroy mine all the time. I wasn't even in love I just wanted to be friends, and you treated me like dirt and expect me to be like a bf relationship in your sick twisted heads. Telling me you love me one minute or have sex with me and throw me out the door, because I'm not on your menu today. Seriously ****ing done.

That's not feminism. That's being a ****. It's the sad ignorance I live with. It's neglectful and shameful to all people especially women who fight for freedoms for you to be yourself and all you do is spit it back in everyone's face by hurting other women friends with this crap and guys who may "fall for your tricks."

I'm ranting, because I don't know what I'm feeling. I am seriously afraid of being attracted to anyone. I hate it. What's wrong with me?
I can't take this emotional abuse anymore