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Old Oct 06, 2014, 11:20 PM
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Partless Partless is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: Bellingham
Posts: 1,013
In several different threads, people have talked about the fakeness of the relationship with T, the idea that T is playing a role, that T has to care because it's in the job description, etc. Now all that is technically true, but of course it does not mean that no real feelings are involved. It doesn't have to be one or the other. It can be both. So therapist needing to be caring, because of the job description, but also actually caring.

But I think the bigger issue is what makes you feel genuine love and care? I think this is important because it also applies to other relationships. Whether it's your husband or wife or lover or friend, a child or a parent, a neighbor or a stranger, we are constantly making judgments about people faking it or being honest. And many people have ulterior motives so it's understandable to be suspicious at first. I remember some funny sitcom where the wife enters the bedroom and says to the husband, I love you. Then the guy, looking bored as before, replies, "Okay, what do you want?" lol

For me I think part of feeling loved and genuinely cared for, is to be treated in a special way. If a therapist treats me just like everybody else, I start to doubt it. Of course this is no guarantee. There is that funny saying: You are special...just like everybody else.

Anyhow, so when do you know for sure you're receiving genuine care and love? When they cry in the office in reaction to your pain? Is it something they said that showed they truly understand you? Is it you feeling that you're being treated in a special way? Is it them not giving up on you despite you wanting to?

Please share.
Thanks for this!
Ambra, Bill3, CantExplain, rainbow8, TrailRunner14