ummm, yes, yes, yes, yes... LOL... I could have written this post myself as you hit the things I think also.
What you said is true for you is the exact same for me. I have a VERY hard time even thinking there would something genuine when this is his career and the job description essentially REQUIRES caring and compassion in order to stayed employed. You know the saying, "love is a verb" makes it all the harder. It is possible to demonstrate caring for someone without having any real or genuine care there.
I am a tester and I know it. I do watch for things that make me either try to prove or disprove genuine care.
Not much of an answer for you, but I do understand the post and wish it wasn't something that made things so difficult to wrap my brain around. How do you handle the fact that no one cares unless you pay them to? And then even when paid there is still no way to ever truly know if there is real genuine care or if you are just a number on the notes written for the day.

Good luck on those answers... LOL