Or maybe it's motivations? I dunno. I guess I'm wondering if anyone else's reasons/motivations for self harm have changed over time? I'm hoping most people have not done it as long as I have, but I noticed my reasons (or at least my understanding of them) has changed over the years. For the longest time, I would swear that the self-harm was not done as "punishment", but the other day my understanding of "punishment" changed and now I would say it falls under that category. I feel like it's all I deserve:to be hurt and damaged, but not cared-for. So I guess that's punishment, right?

Do your motivations change over time? What are your motivations for it? Do some reasons make it harder or easier to stop?