i definitely relate to this. id say that if its focused more on the other person its the social anxiety and if its focused more on you its the low self esteem. but of course those are all wrapped together.

i worry and ruminate an awful lot about being a burden to others. borrowing peoples items no matter how minor bothers me, same with using communal things. i dont like to take cookies from free cookie jars in a lobby because i dont want to use up what "should" be someone else's cookie. asking someone for help is incredibly hard; reminding them of their promise if they forgot is basically impossible.

Ive had a problem lately where if people who know me are in a room together I'm afraid to enter the room because I think they're talking bad about me. Its not even that im scared to hear someone dislikes me, its that im scared I will make them feel awkward if they are

today i was curled up on the couch feeling kind of sad, and i suddenly worried that looking so dreary would upset someone if they saw me. so i tried to look like i was not sad but then I thought that i am probably annoying to see regardless, because my presence is a constant reminder i am "taking up resources" when i dont have a full-time job or school and thus "dont deserve them". but its not possible for me to go somewhere where no one will notice me and i can still obtain the things i need, so of course i got more upset and started crying, which brings us back around to the start of this paragraph again

i started feeling better a little while ago tho. and so i dont forget: those thoughts are distorted and false. people usually are not talking about me and when they are its usually not bad. its ok to be upset, worry other people, and take up space and resources. and a persons worth is much more than their economic value.
(this is true for anyone reading this too.)