HI Mimilam, I have been going through pretty much the same things. I have cyclothymia too. I'm just coming out of a bad mixed state episode my self. Wanted to hide, did. Now I'm trying to figure out how to get back in the flow again. And my meds either knock me out too early where I then sleep for 12 hours or like tonight they barely calm me down and I can hardly sleep. I totally get all the stuff that is stressing you out, I just wish I could help, I just got diagnosed 6 months ago.