Hi! I have a friend who's pregnant now and her boyfriend (he's a firefighter so very "manly") says he wants it to be a boy. My brother was the same way when his fiancé was pregnant, although he got a girl and he loves her to pieces now, can't stop talking about her and sending pictures of her.

I've read several articles etc. claiming all men "secretly" want boys, regardless of what they tell their partner. I've also read on women's forums women who are disturbed that their partner was more invested in the pregnancy of their son than their daughter and that their partners' friends were more excited about it and were acting like their partner had accomplished something ("nice job!") when they found out it was a boy.

I have to say this both hurts me and disturbs me a bit. I wouldn't want a man who favoured one sex over the other, as that makes it seem like you have some weird expectations of what the different sexes can and can't do. I have one brother and two sisters and I never felt that my dad cared about which sex we were, I am really close to him and we have so much in common (for instance we like the same music, we're both really into football, we love trying different kinds of beer and discuss it, to be honest I have a closer relationship with him than with my mom, which I think hurts my mom more than she lets on). Of course, my dad is not the "manliest" of men, he finds "punching-their-chest" macho men really unlikeable, he was a quiet kid as a child and he works in public sector so he mostly works with women. My mother made more than him for a long time and he really didn't care, and he took out as much paternal leave as he was permitted to with all his kids (my brother did the same with his daughter though, in addition to taking out his vacation weeks when his fiancé had her leave so she wouldn't have to deal with everything alone and because he wanted to bond with my niece when she was a baby). But apparently most men are not like my father.

I heard that for many it has to do with carrying on the family name which I find weird - in Norway the tradition of naming the child with the father's name is not really so strong, almost all my friends have both their parents' last name (including me - the law still only permits one last name though, so officially my mom's name is my last name while my dad's name is my middle name, but apart from when I fill out official forms I use them both as last names) and few of their mothers changed their name when marrying. The thought seems strange and old-fashioned to me, and it actually disappoints me a bit when women do this in tv shows etc., especially if they are really strong-minded women. Mostly very religious people carry on that tradition here and to be honest it is a bit frowned upon, both men and women find it weird and instantly think that a family is very "unequal" (the same goes for stay-at-home-mums, btw).

But, I have to say that I was a bit offended with my brother's preference, of course he grew up with only sisters but the three of us are as different as night and day. I am the "tomboy" of the bunch and just as interested in football etc. as he is, we frequently go to games together. There is no reason he should think a boy would automatically care more about those things. His fiancé was annoyed at his wish too, and she kept claiming girls took better care of their elder parents than boys (a claim I also found quite sexist tbh).

So, my question is, is this really true? Do men (secretly or openly) prefer boys? Why? I am having an open mind here and trying to understand.

Personally I don't have any preference whenever I end up getting a kid, I know my child will be awesome either way