phenix, a lot of what you are saying really resonates with me. I'm too new at this to have much in the way of answers, but the one thing I do when things are hard is to be stubborn. Ok, I might not be able to make forward progress, but I'm going to stand still rather than go backwards. Or if I'm being dragged backwards I'll drag my feet and try and at least get back to where I was.

It doesn't always work, of course - if I'm triggered I just react and can't think logically at all. But once a flashback has passed and I'm over the worst, the stubbornness usually manages to kick in again.

It's horrible when there doesn't seem to be any hope of things improving, and I know how it feels - especially wanting support and there just not being enough. Hang on there, we are here for you anyway.


Bluegrey