I don't understand how I will fix my life. Even when I feel good I have collection companies calling me from all my medical bills when I was in the hospital so many times. I called one back today to set up a paareyment arrangement, explained Im on disability and can pay only $15 a month. The total balance is over $1,000. She said $15 isn't near enough not even on a hardship account. I said I totally got where she was coming from but I cant pay it. She then started asking if I have parents who can help me and I just said "Well, my mom is disable and my Dads dead so no." Then she started asking do I have friends....family..etc. I said no. No one can help me with this.

I understand its her job and maybe she doesn't even like it and Im not mad at this "Rachelle" I spoke to. But I hate myself for being crazy and not working and not able to pay this stuff off. Its affecting my credit now. That's about all I had going for me.

Its not enough that Im stuck with this stupid illness but its destroys everything.

I don't even see the point of trying anymore.