i just remembered something else. one time when i still saw t in person, i was running late because i got stuck in traffic and when i tried to get my cell phone out of my purse to call her and let her know, i fumbled it and dropped it on the floor, figured I would be even later if I pulled over and stopped the car to get it, than i would be if i just kept driving. so when i got there a couple minutes late she was just opening the outer door sticking her head outside looking for me. she said she was worried. that made me feel cared for because i wasn't all THAT late, just a little. But I was always, always early except for that one time.