I don't understand how I will fix my life. Even when I feel good I have collection companies calling me from all my medical bills when I was in the hospital so many times. I called one back today to set up a paareyment arrangement, explained Im on disability and can pay only $15 a month. The total balance is over $1,000. She said $15 isn't near enough not even on a hardship account. I said I totally got where she was coming from but I cant pay it. She then started asking if I have parents who can help me and I just said "Well, my mom is disable and my Dads dead so no." Then she started asking do I have friends....family..etc. I said no. No one can help me with this.

I understand its her job and maybe she doesn't even like it and Im not mad at this "Rachelle" I spoke to. But I hate myself for being crazy and not working and not able to pay this stuff off. Its affecting my credit now. That's about all I had going for me.

Its not enough that Im stuck with this stupid illness but its destroys everything. We have to deal with everything else and then when wee do get help it causes more distress. Why even bother???????

I don't even see the point of trying anymore.