Online relationships can be confusing for everyone because they don't progress like a normal relationship would. I don't think anyone here can say if it wasn't real or if it indeed was real, as only you'll be able to know that for sure. But, for me, there is a progression of "realness" so to speak. Meet someone and form some sort of connection....it becomes more real when you see a number of pictures, even more real when you can hear their voice, but its not completely real until you meet them face to face.

I think the best thing you can do is talk to him about how you are feeling. Maybe not completely disclose everything, but let him know that you are hesitant because this is new and unfamiliar to you. Maybe you always had him, and maybe you didn't? Have you had any sort of conversation involving whether or not either of you is seeing anyone else? (I think that would be a big clue as to whether or not you "had" him.)

I have been talking to a guy online for a few months, and yes, we have had the "where are we now and where is this going" conversation, so I know some of your struggles. I haven't met him yet as he isn't all that close, but we are on the same page in terms of our feelings for one another and seeing this through, at least to the point of meeting so that we can determine if something would work out in real life.

I think that perhaps you should push yourself to just meet him at the very least. You may regret not doing so. I know that I'll meet my guy at some point, but beyond that is anyone's guess. I much rather take the chance of meeting him rather than always be thinking "what if...?"

Good luck!