I see no one has answered your message yet, but there are so many nice people here, I'm sure they will, and they can give better advice than I. I'm 63 so I do not fall into the age group I am sure you will soon be hearing from. I am BP. My psychiatrist got it right the first time, (or maybe my BP type is easier to work with) and to date my medications have been doing the job. Soon I hope you're doctor works well with you, and together your life takes a turn for the better. I believe it can. I also think it is very important you seek the help you need before you do something that can not be undone. I half way tried with a gun, but lucky; important organs were missed. I also want to point out as soon as it went bang; I decided I did not wish to die after-all. You're in a very good place here, I promise.