Hi! I am single and I wouldn't want a baby now even if I wasn't (but if I got pregnant, unplanned, I would - probably - keep it, I have a huge family who could help me out).

I am too young and I want to finish my education and see the world and fall really, really in love and enjoy and develop a potential relationship and in general wait years before a baby seems like a reasonable or even wishful situation.

But still I am freaking myself out with thinking a lot about babies and pregnancies. I've plastered my room with pictures of my brother's baby, and I melt each time I see a baby in public. I watch tv shows etc where the characters get a baby (although it annoys me how glamourising they are of the birth, most people seem to tear down there while giving birth these days, some are even cut open and then sewn back up afterwards but in tv shows it's always so quick and no issues), go to forums to read about it, etc. I write down lists of baby names I like and somehow end up in baby departments of clothing stores sort of just by wandering off in the stores.

So - generally - I don't want a baby now, and I am really glad I don't have one at this point in my life. I have not had sex for about a pregnancy (lol) and every time I have done it I've used protection, and will keep doing that. Still I feel almost subconsciously obsessed with babies and pregnancies. Is this a result of some inner biological clock (never really believed in that), some sort of projecting of my sexual desires over to a baby desire for lack of sex, or just a fascination/phase? The thought of a pregnancy also scares me shitless, I don't really see how people can go through it, so many changes and you don't really control your own body for nine months, and then an awfully painful birth... I'm sure I would panic if I were pregnant so I am really glad I have no plans for this is the (un)foreseeable future. Is this normal?