How do you handle being told that the brightest parts of your life are really a mental illness? How do you cope? How do I cope?

I thought I was spiritual. Mountain top experiences followed by crashes into depression. I thought that super-energetic, clean-all-the-things person was the Real Me. But it's not. It's just a symptom of another mental illness. I've already had to deal with what I thought as a spirit guide was really a hallucination/delusion due to Schizoaffective disorder. Now it feels like I'm losing even more, and it sucks.

It just sucks.