Hi Kathleen. I understand it is a hard situation. I ran into some of the same brick walls. I could not afford the care of a psychiatrist and therapist. I did not qualify for the affordable community mental health service, nor would they accept my insurance. Anxiety attacks are terrible. In desperation I have thought of self harm before. I wish I had a good answer for you, but you are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you feel better soon.