I think I know what your mean. I would love it if I new someone cared for me enough to put me first. To take the time to comfort me when I am afraid. And there are parts of me who think our t should be the one to do that. But the older parts understand that that is not the relationship we have with our t. And that the desire to be loved and protected may come from not having had it when we were little. It's tuff.