my best guess would be that you're referring to my posts. so let me just make my intentions clear, ok? first of all, i'm not trying to study anyone in this forum anymore than i try to study people in the psychotherapy forum, the surivors of abuse forum, creative corner, or the si forum. i post in those forums because they all relate to me. i know i am not multiple, but i am a dissociator and i was really excited to have a thread where i could talk to other dissociators. especially since i meet very few people who even know what that is. you may have noticed that i posted for advice about grounding techniques? i'm not here to experiment with any of you. i'm here to get to know you, and ask you to get to know me in return. i'm here to support, and to be supported.

ok, i brought up the books i brought up merely because ozzie said she was trying to learn about DID and i thought of that one off the top of my head. then, jj talked about reading books, so i asked which ones and told some of the ones i read. i wasn't able to remember every book i've read. sorry that i failed to bring up Cameron West. i didn't know that if i mentioned one or two books off of the top of my head, i would be expected to provide an exhaustive and non-stereotypical list. i have read First Person Plural. i don't know who Traci is. i did also bring up The Flock and The Perfect Daughter- not books that many people are familiar with. i do recognize that many, many people are frustrated with the subject of Sybil and i didn't indicate in any way whether or not i particularly cared for that book, either. (the fact is, i don't. but i have read it). it was the last book on DID that i read, by the way- the first was First Person Plural. as for the movie Sybil, i never bothered watching it because i saw a clip in highschool that severely triggered my own abuse issues. AND i have not only discussed DID books. if you read my posts in other forums, i have reccomended books on depression, borderline, and transference in psychotherapy as well as MANY books on self-injury. these are all books that i have read which have enriched my life in one way or another. when it comes to the DID books, the only one I ever suggested someone should read was "The DID Sourcebook," which I reccomended to Ozzie. I didn't suggest any of the others. I just told jj that I had read them.

i did ask jj once if anyone else posts on psychcentral that could make sure it's safe- simply because jj is a NINE year-old, who has told me that there are older people in her circle that are co-conscious. i was only trying to look out for my fellow forum members. i didn't mean to intrude or be rude. when i have asked that question, it is not out of morbid curiousity- it is out of a desire to know who i'm "talking" with. i have asked MANY people on the forums here how old they are and what gender they are, and what they do for a living, and what books they've read, etc. all someone has to do is tell me that i'm out of line, and i'm quick to correct it. I HAVE THE BEST OF INTENTIONS.

yes, i am a psychology major. and yes, i plan on specializing in trauma-related issues. that includes ptsd, did, borderline, ddnos, si, eating disorders, etc. the reason i am specializing in this is NOT because i want to satisfy some curiousity. it is because i have a history of severe trauma of my own, and i want to first heal myself and then help others as my own T (who also has her own history of trauma) has helped me. i am here at psychcentral because a friend reccomended it to me- because i am in therapy processing through issues of severe neglect, abuse, and enmeshment. i also have a problem with self-injury. i don't know what my diagnosis is- but i can tell you that i meet the criteria for: borderline, ptsd, major depressive disorder, and ddnos currently. so it's not like i'm some cold, calloused 'professional' here to examine and judge.

please understand that i mean well, and that is it IMPOSSIBLE for me, never having been where you are, to understand and know every little thing that is going to upset you. also, please know that i am doing my very best to be a friend to everyone at psychcentral- and to be understanding. please do the same in return.

take care,
angela (sweet crusader)

-comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable-