having others accept you....... i foudn that was hard...harder still when i hadnt accepted myself yet.... mostly i do now that makes it a bit easier

I had to work through what happened and work out the should have , could have's before i coudl start to accept and forgive myself - still an ongoing process.

As to what people call themselves..here I am P7 or phoenix7 I am not PTSD, Abuse, Depression, suicidal ideation, and some others things lol - in hospitals i hear people say oh the broken leg in room 6 - I have said OMG really???? where is the rest fo the person lol

We are who we are - the sum of our experiences and how we learned to deal wiht them - normal? thats only a cycle on a washing machine.....look at the Normal's and you wil find they all have some sort of hang up that takes them off centre - either that or they are a robot

you are catastrophising (prob spelt wrong ) wiht the guys taking you off in handcuffs - this is when i was taught to play the "whats the worst thatcould happen game" so they cart you off - its unpleasant but in a number of minutes its over - maybe you get ther help you need at that time - well then thats good - maybe you dont - ok then what? you get better or worse...better - well thats good ...worse well then yiou need to seek help

do you see how that works - there are always alternatives - at the moment i may lose my job- i went OMG i have managed to work here wiht ptsd for almost 9 years how will i get another job and be able to manage all the unknowns.......i freaked out.....(old saying yes - but then im old lol)
((oh if youre as young as you feel - today im achy and 90 - yesterday i was 28 lol ))

bottom line is what happens happens and we learn to deal wiht it- because we have no other choice.. there is always someone who in one way or another depends on us ...

but im rambling, as i often do lol

You're not a monster, you are a person wiht a problem who is working on it - treat yourself as you would your best friend - if you hear yourself saying bad things to yourself .....then stopp and say what would i say to my best friend if they said that ? or my brother or sister....

at times when things are tough i do as my psychologist once told me and break it down as small as i need to - second by second if necessary and i get through - and i reach out and share what i know and feel in the hope it wil help others realise they are not alonoe - we, those at Psyche central , are here to listen and offer advice and the odd bad joke if you can stand it lol

take care ok - to you and everyone else on this thread i send hugs and good wishes - offers a hand if you ever need it as we all walk the same road just differnet paths along it

P7