I'm back to being down today. Probably because I'm sick with a cold. My pdoc today sent me back to the IOP I just got out of in august. She says I need more support. I guess she's right. Makes me feel like a giant failure though. I mean I literally just left that program less than two months ago.

My husband might be pretty mad when he finds out. I think he'll be upset over childcare issues and financial concerns, the same things I'm upset over. But I got the impression from my pdoc that I didn't have a choice. It was either agree or be dropped as a patient.

I don't know why things have to be this way. She also keeps pushing disability. Like disability would pay anything. I know how much disability pays and it's nothing. Then my husband and I would never be able to move out. I hate that she thinks I'm unable to work even though right now she's probably right. But I couldn't do disability. I couldn't sit around all day and do nothing. It would drive me crazier than I already am.

I'm going to lay in bed for the next two hours until I have to pick up my son from preschool.