Thanks for the support folks. Unfortunately, I have fought hard to try to show her I'm committed to treatment and being better, but so far in vain. She has stopped fighting. She told me multiple times there was hope but today she texted me while I was working and told me she has figured out she can never love me again. The lies for eight years is just too much. There were so many times I could have come clean but I had to wait to be caught and for that I must face the consequences. I think she won't be there when I get home. I know she's been trying to contact her ex. Or at least she's saying that. I know it's possible in time we could come together again but the end is so hard to see when you're in the middle of it. I've gone back on my meds, I'm going to my first therapy session in two days, and I have to maintain my focus on my son, my recovery, my job, and my new found faith. But it is the hardest thing I've ever experienced to watch her go. And To those of you who say porn isn't cheating, I disagree. I don't care if "everyone does it". I don't care if the pope does it to be honest. There are millions of families destroyed by it and it is detrimental to your brain. It has been proven to cause erectile dysfunction. It hurts those you love. My son will grow up in a broken home over it, and my unborn child might still be alive if it weren't for my actions. Mania or not, it is far from harmless. If I didn't have a son and I wasn't on my meds, I guarantee I would have committed suicide by now. I was supposed to protect this woman and my child and I did the exact opposite. I will always hate myself for it.