Hi everyone,

I am new to this particular forum so this may be a tad long but I really need some wise advice! I have known because of therapy for a long time about the emotional abuse I have received from my parents especially some pretty severe covert incest from my father. My current therapist has helped me in ways though has not completely addressed the issue. I plan to go back and work on it more. I am reading up on the topic.

I have achieved a lot of recovery over the years. When I look at the treatment plan for recovery I have been though a lot of the steps already. I do still have a lot of lingering ickiness in terms of being with my father and knowing how to interact or deal with my relationship with him.

My question for you all is....

How do you have an adult relationship with your abuser? If anybody shares with me the emotional abuse and covert incest situation how do you deal with that? I feel it is most difficult for me because while I feel so violated/used/and abused, I think that my father has no idea that anything was ever wrong and sees it more as once upon a time we had this special relationship and I have abandoned him.

We have basically nothing to talk about. I don't feel like he respects me as an adult or respects my parenting of my own children. Plus he is an annoying self centered personality who believes he is never wrong and reacts very poorly to being disagreed with. Point being that he is not an easy personality and annoys the crap out of me.

Every time I am with him I feel tense and icky and angry but with and shot of guilt. So yeah that is where I need help and healing.

Thanks for listening to all that. I am really hoping for some advice. Hugs to you all in this forum.

Any thoughts?