I am so sorry you have so much that you are dealing with.... I am glad you have us to vent to.. we do care about you and I personally feel your pain... hang in there.

If you haven't learned to practice mindfulness and meditation, it might be something you can look into...

I was in the same situation as far as wanting life to end a week ago, now I am doing better.... it is good you have a T that cares, but I know how hard it is to need someone and the only one that seems to really care is your T.... hang in there! we are here for you and we do care...
Healing takes time..... we have ups and downs, and this is a safe place to vent and get support.
I care about you and am sending good thoughts your way..