Hi Rayne,

I wish you much success as you navigate this decision. I am currently completing an MA program. I would encourage you to make sure that your bipolar is well managed before beginning any graduate program. I would not recommend using the highs of manic periods to push through work, etc. nor would I suggest that the less structured schedule of a full-time grad student (as compared to a 9-to-5er) should provide a haven for someone with bipolar.

This is my second time around in grad school. My first attempt in the early 90s I dropped out just shy of completion, unable to begin my thesis due to an episode of depression. I intended to return. I did not. I lost a lot of money, effort, and time, and the feelings of failure still haunt me. Years later, I started all over, only to again be plagued by the ups and down of my bipolar disorder (that was still being misdiagnosed and therefore not correctly treated). I start/stopped a couple of different programs before finally committing to one (during a hypomanic period), then a depression episode hit. I was eventually granted a retroactive leave of absence, by providing medical documentation of my (now correctly diagnosed, treated, and stabilized bipolar) but even though I was allowed to resume my studies I am having to re-pay for several classes that I had failed to complete. In other words, I am repeating work that was done previously AND paying for the class a second time just to gain the needed credit. I have been trying to complete this current degree for over 5 years now. Working on my thesis has been painfully hard. I am pretty certain that I have had cognitive degeneration from several episodes of mania over the years. Things that were once easy now seem so difficult. Also, my word recall is sometimes poor, probably a result of my Topamax Dx. My professors all think I am VERY flakey and I doubt that if I needed a recommendation for a doctoral program that there would be anyone comfortable to provide one, and I don't blame them... the only consistency they have seen from me is that my work habits are very inconsistent. If I could complete work around my moods and energy level, grad school would probably go much more smoothly... but it doesn't work that way, unfortunately.

I certainly don't think being bipolar should stop anyone from going for their masters or PhD! But I want to strongly, strongly encourage you to make sure that you in a very stable, good place before you begin your program. There will be many stressors and potential triggers. I also think that the more stable you are before you begin the better your decision-making will be regarding which exact choice of program is right for you. I can't tell you how many false starts I have had in my academic career, and looking back (hindsight is 20/20) it is because I was usually hypomanic or manic when I was making those big life decisions.

I hope sharing this is somewhat helpful.