Unfortunately I was denied admission to the eating disorders program. I have to live with ANA for however long I must. This really, really sucks bad. I started using serious drugs and now I feel it just doesn't matter any more.

I have eaten a small amount but ANA is the queen in my life. ANA rules with an iron fist. Worse than the drugs because ANA kills faster than my addiction will.

I hate life right now and wish I were dead most of the time. But God is watching over me and what ever the ending, it is what is. I accept my fate. God's will has prevailed. I have to eat but won't and I'll never escape ANA's grip.

Lauren Ann