Sometimes when I'm up I get upset by the thought that it's not going to last. That eventually I'm going to fall again and I feel as though the "good days" are just a tease, something there to torture me by showing me the l life I want..... but know I can't have because the bottom always falls out from under me. Sometimes I feel like I'd rather stay "close to the ground" than to fall from way up high. Could this be what you're feeling?