Hi all,
Thank you for taking the time to read my post.
After years of trying to make my marriage work, things have escalated to the point where divorce is the only (or at least the best) option.
A little background:
Married for just over 7 years, 2 children ages 6 and 2. My husband has been professionally diagnosed as NPD. Finding this out and working my own therapist has really been an eye-opening experience for me. I have realized that there's nothing I can do to make this relationship work if he doesn't think there's anything he needs to change (and of course, given the NPD, he thinks it's all my fault). The emotional and psychological abuse has substantially escalated in the last few months. He has told me he hates me in front of the kids; called me names such as lazy, irresponsible, etc., in front of the children; has drained our finances including opening credit cards and taking out loans without my prior knowledge. He threatens me with divorce and tells me I need to find another place to live frequently, he even went to the courthouse and got divorce papers and told me to sign them. This is an intimidation technique I've come to realize, and he has no intention of actually following through. I stay home with the children so I have no income of my own - he controls all the money and doles out some to me as he deems appropriate.
So, I finally made the decision to divorce him. I borrowed money from my parents and am working with an attorney. The papers will be filed today and my plan is to tell him tonight. The kids will be with my mom and I've asked my dad to come over when I tell my husband as I am concerned about his reaction (this was recommended to me by my therapist as well).
Here's what I would love some input on from other people who have experience in this area: any ideas what I can expect in the next few days/weeks? I have the option to file a petition with the court to essentially kick him out of the house but still have the bills paid (otherwise he is under no legal obligation to leave). I am thinking I need to take this step, but it could still be a few weeks before that would take effect as the courts are overloaded presently. I am planning on staying with my mom for at least a few days, but she lives rather far and it will significantly impact the kids' lives (especially the eldest with his school) to stay there.
Any thoughts/advice/etc. from anyone who's been here would be SO appreciated! Thank you!!