Thank you so much for your replies. I am really listening to you all and it is very helpful to hear. I know you may think I just don't get it but I really cannot cut off all contact with him. At least not now. It would cause me such a monumental amount of stress I believe it would be very bad for me (I am Bipolar and need to avoid stress!).

The only contact I have with him right now is being in his presence on occasions with family. I think that my feelings surrounding the relationship contribute very much to the tension I feel when he is here. This thread is helping me to release those feelings.

I am hearing that you all feel that not contact is what is appropriate therefore I should not feel like I need to do any more than tolerate his presence. I do not need to feel like I need to have conversation or call him or let him visit by himself on other occasions. I think this will help me a lot.

It might be relevant to add that he has totally dropped me in terms of being his "friend". In fact I don't really think he cares all that much (loves me in his own broken way but not that matters) about my relationship with him. He has turned to my son to be his raison d'être now. Which I guess is a whole new thread. I have been on top of it though don't worry. I am sure that just adds to the argument for cutting him out. However, he is not as bad at this as my sister is. She has really cratered lately and has totally begun what I now see as an emotionally incestuous situation with my son. I have cut off all contact with her except for the family gathering too. this is relatively recent and I am learning more about all this and trying to figure it out....

Yes I do believe my father is narcissistic. And I now think my sister may be histrionic personality.

I hear you. They are dangerous.