I am in ER. My eyelids were swollen shut when I woke this morning. I recall seeping poison ivy blisters wetting the sheets near my face last night. I also recall being smacked in the eye by a vine. I'm going to have poison ivy eyes and go blind and crazy and my mother will never go home.

Sometimes you hurt so bad you just quit. You sit still. You watch your wounds seep and ndotice the It h without scratching. It's not numbness. It's acceptance. It's acceptance of everything that is, just as It is.

This is what religious Muslims call sakina.