hey. i guess the contrast makes both sides more apparent. the present disconnection makes the fact that we really did connect before much more apparent.

i guess i do need to get him to clarify what it was that he was apologising for. i had a past t / p-doc who used to break a promise everytime he saw me. this guy isn't that bad but it is hard to trust someone who routinely breaks their word - no matter how many apologies follow. 'i'll try and reschedule you'. yeah, right. 'i'll email you'. yeah right.

i'll see how it goes. we are on the friday - tuesday - friday thing at the moment. so i'll see him on tuesday and see how it goes. i kind of... can't be bothered. he never had to say it was okay for me to email him - but he did. he never had to say he would respond within a few days - but he did. how long does it take for him to email / phone / txt to say 'i'm sorry i'm more tied up than i expected to be' BEFORE i have to say to him that i'm scared somehting really bad happened to him / his family.

he did nothing.

i might well have been getting attached. but you don't treat people who you feel bonded to like that. you don't do it.

he completely disregarded me and my feelings. he could have done that by not giving me his email address. but he said it was okay for me to reach out to him and he promised to respond.

but he didn't.

and it wasn't like anything bad happened. he was 'busy'. in an expectible and predictable way. he was busy. too busy to take two %#@&#! minutes to say he was sorry and he shouldn't have promised to respond to me.

i don't think i'll be moving past this.