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Originally Posted by FrozenYogurt
I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years now. I love her, I love her family, and we have a pretty solid relationship. Only problem is, she is stubborn as a bull and completely irresponsible. She spends her entire paycheck on weed and clothes. When I suggest that she might save her money, as we're hoping to get our own place in the near future, she gets offended. It's not my place to tell her how to spend her money, she says. Which is true, but she accepts no responsibility for her actions. She's also very selfish; your typical girly girl. She's a big talker, and by that I mean she never stops talking, even to other people. She likes to be pampered with daily backrubs, presents, all that stuff. I'm a nice guy so I try to spoil her the best I can, but something's got to give. It's a completely one-sided relationship. I'm her doting, breadwinning, fixer boyfriend, and she's sitting there stagnant. That's how I feel, anyway. I've been considering leaving the relationship, but I just can't do it. She's everything to me and I don't want to lose something over something that some might consider trivial. You don't know what you've got until it's gone, right? So I'm wondering if this is a common relationship problem, or if I'm just being an asshole (pardon my french).
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Hello ForzenYogurt: I'm sorry to write this... but, to me, this sounds like a train wreak looking for a place to happen. Now, realize, I'm in my mid 60's & I've been married for 30+ years. Perhaps someone younger would have a different perspective. But from what you've written, it sounds to me as though your girlfriend is completely self-absorbed. I don't know how any couple could build a lasting relationship on this basis.
Again, from my perspective, I would think that some couples counseling would be the way to go. However, from what you wrote, it does not sound likely your girlfriend would agree to such a thing. Assuming this is the case, perhaps you might consider some individual counseling for yourself to help you sort out your feelings & come to some conclusion with regard to your relationship with this lady.
I guess I don't have that much experience with other peoples' relationships. But the one you describe does not sound common to me at all, and certainly not healthy. I do wish you all the best with this though.
