So, I know this sounds vague and stupid.
Im 19. My relationships with men go like this:
I give them respect and obedience because I'm supposed to. I do what I'm told. They're in positions of power (men in my family, community). Sometimes a little abusive but not really.

Then there are my peers. Those are more complicated. Usually avoid men, but if I do interact it's usually argumentative. They're always in control and although I don't always do what I'm told, I often do. These relationships usually involve sexual harassment or abuse of some kinds.
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So. I met this boy at my school. I've know him for two plus years now. I like him. He is really nice. He is nice to me, and to everyone. He cares about me, but none of this is in a sexual or romantic way. This is good.
But I seriously don't know how to act. It's always super uncomfortable. I have to repeatedly remind myself that he isn't going to hurt me but I never completely believe myself. He has never been anything but amazing, seriously. But as I have more triggers, flash backs it has gotten worse.

His presence alone triggers me. He is a man with whom I have a relationship. I can only name one other in which there wasn't abuse of any kind and that relationship fell to shreds because he couldn't deal with all my emotional issues. So, no successful relationships either. The issues were almost always considered my fault. And most included some sexual abuse, never mind emotional, verbal abuse.

Adding this on top of abandonment issues, familial abuse, and my current MDD, PTSD, and eating disorder diagnoses I seriously don't know what to do.
I don't know what to say. I feel like sometimes I'm rude.
But I don't want to come off too nice like I'm flirting. But I don't want to be mean either. And I don't know how to read his emotions because all mine are getting in the way. I don't know when he is teasing or when I am really annoying him.
And I don't know how to ask him if my behavior is appropriate. And I'm pretty sure asking the question isn't really socially appropriate either.

But he is so nice. And I don't have many friends. And since men make up 50% of the population it is probably not wise to be afraid of and avoiding men for the rest of my life.

But I don't know what to do. And then I get flustered. And that makes things worse because if I was dissociating and uncomfortable to begin with - this just added insult to injury.

I don't know how to interact socially with a group of my peers. I have never done it. I don't feel comfortable doing it. And even today, I spent a bunch of time cleaning. I know how to clean. And I was more comfortable doing that. Plus I felt like I needed to provide something. If I didn't provide something they wouldn't want me to come back.
I just don't know what to do. Seriously. I know it's stupid and this is a long rambling post and I apologize, but I'm really embarrassed to ask anyone in person. I'm 19 and a senior in college and I present to the world really well (gotta love acting experience) but I don't know how to be a good friend. Or at least how not to be a bad one. And what to do and how.