okay, I am already writing far too much and sort of everything so I can ad some more..

yesterday when this happened I was at a work-related party. It was in public. and now I am so embarrassed I don't want to leave my bed ever again.
I started crying in front of everybody and I told random people what happened. It was sort of nice though that they would comfort me.
I got really really really drunk there. people cared about me and that felt good. but I made a big drama. in public. horrible. I cannot go outside my apartment anymore. ever again.