Zwangsstörung,

Thanks for relating!

Part of the problem is I admire these people who are "direct" and "honest", ... and like them a lot in a lot of ways... but I wish they wouldn't be rude, disrespectful, offensive, tactless, hurtful, etc.

They probably aren't mind readers though and may not even know something they said was very hurtful. I'm a fairly quiet person often and they might not pick up subtle clues.

In my case I think partly it has been my problem for not standing up for myself sooner and being more assertive, I just thought 'it's not that big a deal' in smaller situations, but these things add up. And didn't quite find the language to stand up for myself - it's really difficult for me without going into 'drama'. And I wished them to remain my friends...
I may need 'no big deal' language or ways of coping with mildly uncomfortable situations before they 'escalate'.

I think sometimes/often being sensitive is a good thing too. We pay better attention to how others are feeling, and can be good friends, though it can be overwhelming too. I'd feel honored when they trusted me with 'difficult' things, but I'm not a paid therapist and sometimes didn't know what to say.

I agree with you about a lot you say.

I hear you about the friendships.
I do wish to find more good friendships, it's not so easy though. We drifted apart with some good friends who were more sensitive and attentive due to life circumstances, living in different parts of the country, different lifestyles....