Is there any way to distract yourself by doing something fun, maybe go out to eat or to see a movie? It's okay to feel down; more matters how we react to it. Things seem to be really rough right now - is there any way you can bring your wife (who you obviously adore) into "your world" so that she can hold your hand and help "pull you out" so to speak? So sorry you are struggling. 10 years is quite an accomplishment.