im 18 not to far off from you, yes i agree this is a crappy battle....and its no longer a side of winning or losing..now its more like...whats good and whats bad....whose the good guy whose the bad guy....cuz i guess in MOST peoples heads food is the good guy...eating is good....but in OUR minds ...well its quite the opposite....so even though i can admit this in writing....well if someone asked me to eat a sandwhich...in my head id be comtemplating how many calories...how much to throw up....if i should hide it lol and in all that time thinking and contemplating someone else would have already taken it and eaten it whole...but when i dont eat..i feel so...good...make sense? I feel Clean....i feel pure....like im not gross and disgusting and dirty when i eat food...make sense? When i eat...even a peice of celery...i feel soooo ICK.....i dont know...just how i feel i guess....and sometimes i wonder ...i know i am not at scary skinny weight yet...i know i dont LOOK unhealthy...but would all that i go through....with all the calories...and starving all day what would that make me ya know....oh i dont know...to many thoughts running in my head