Jane, a therapist has to learn "how" to keep a distance from a patient. Therapists hear things from patients that can be very upsetting and because most therapists are caring people and are trying to "help" their patients, it can be very hard to keep it "professional".

When someone has PTSD as you do and is at the beginning of finally discussing some very deep injuries, a good therapist knows he/she has to be careful because of how a patient can be so easily triggered. The therapist really "is" walking on eggshells with each patient, and while the therapist has been developing skills to understand PTSD/trauma work and helping patients, they are never really going to know what to expect from a patient.

A therapist "if he/she is good" has to be able to "feel" with a patient. This is a very challenging skill to learn how to do because while one "feels" for another, it is important to be able to also "distance" from that emotional challenge to also mentor a healing path. The reason most people tend to distance when others struggle or "need" is because they are "unknowingly" self protecting.

Now, just recently your therapist asked you a question that really triggered you, and you were angry remember? Well, that same question could have gotten a very different response, one of deep agreement and even relief that "someone" recognized that yes, at the time the patient felt ____, or maybe underneath the patient feels ______.

A therapist is always taking a chance trying to "probe" a patient carefully to discover "where" certain psychological challenges are, they do not have the entire history of a patient as a patient does and struggles to discuss.

A therapist also has to be "patient" with each patient too. Well, that is going to be different with each individual, it takes time for a therapist to establish their sense of the patient and every patient is going to be "unique" too.

What I get from your therapist getting a little teary eyed is that he really does want to help you and was just relieved that you understood that he can't just drop everything and respond to you, because he can't do that with all his clients. I am sure that in emergencies it's ok.

It takes time to learn how to work through things that pop up unexpectedly while working through PTSD. As you keep progressing, you will learn to remind yourself "not now" and this is just a memory, and I can work through this and even prepare to talk about this in my next session.

I know it can be hard, I had things totally take me by surprise and rattle me badly when I was getting into deeper challenges myself.

Jane, did you check out that video I posted in the PTSD forum? I found it so helpful myself and really wished I had seen it years ago. PTSD was so confusing to me for a while that it scared me. I wish I had been told more about it early on.

((Hugs))
OE