Hi Evaluna, anyone thinking you're lazy for doing "nothing" on a day off work knows next to nothing about how hard it must be to cope with the kind of emotions you're going through, let alone having to cope with them and raising a child on your own. So regardless of what they say/think, make sure you remember that you know better!!!
And whatever you want/need to do for yourself on your days off, you do, it's your time, you've definitely earned/deserved it!!!
As for the letter to your mum though............you know parenting is about more than just "the good stuff" right?? Maybe your mum would like to know/have the chance to be there for you if you're hurting?? And her being in Spain..........well she can still be there for you in plenty of ways can't she?? Sometimes just knowing that someone is listening, understands and cares can make a bit of a difference can't it?
And you wouldn't want your daughter to be hurting and not telling you because she didn't want to worry or upset you, would you?? So maybe the same for your mum??
And of course, you only have to tell her as much as you need/want to........"just enough", hey??

Alison