I have been working on it for a few years. At one point I didn't talk to my mom for over six months and that was only because my husband goofed and said I was home. I never answered my phone because I couldn't stand the thought of talking to any of my relatives. Every time I spoke to them I would become severely depressed and usually had a very bad self injury episode. Unfortunately my T explained to me that I probably wouldn't get past a stuck spot in therapy if I didn't deal with my family one way or another. I hated him for a few weeks after he said that. But my trust in him won out and I started making the attempt to learn to change my responses to my family. It doesn't happen in a day, a month or even a year but as you learn new ways to respond things get gradually better for you. It is up to your mother to make her own life better. Don't think of it as a specific goal, that your relationship will be perfect. That is too overwhelming and probably not realistic. Instead think of it as a series of steps and consentrate on the first step. You have to decide what your first step will be. That is why I suggest getting books on the subject because as you read you learn more options for solving your problem. Of course I have the tendency to believe that you can do anything you put your mind to as long as you have the right book.
Carrie

<font color=green>Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.--Emily Dickenson