Don't know any more what I/we need. Guess I'll introduce myself. I am a 72-yo male married for 49 years to the same gal. She is 69 and a Type I brittle diabetic. We are both "depressives"; she's in treatment, and I stopped treatment 3-4 years ago.

The main problem is that we don't communicate any more, and intimacy (which I still want) has ceased for years. I am in mourning, as diabetes has robbed me of a wife, and rendered me a "caregiver" rather than a "lover." She has undergone personality changes due to the many bouts of hypoglycemia brought on by her insulin therapy, and basically shuts me out of her life. My concerns for her well-being often cause her to become combative and abusive to me as she says I'm "badgering" her about her diet, her blood sugar testing, and her insulin therapy. As an example of why she's "difficult," every doctor treating her (and there are 5 or 6) ordered her to quit smoking, but she refuses to even cut down on her pack a day habit.

By the way, I scored 127 on the "crazy" test, and she refuses to take it. I'm far from a perfect husband, but I feel trapped. She has no real option if I weren't in the picture, as she would need a caregiver since she can't drive any more and we live on a small farm that she wouldn't be able to take care of by herself. As for how I cope, I've taken to on-line chat rooms and pornography (she knows, and looks the other way). A really bad situation, and I really don't know if I'm feeling more sorry for myself than her over the scourge of diabetes that has ruined both our lives. My depression, however, is real and seems pretty much a result of the situation we're both in.