I can't believe anyone would think this is cool or anything, but crap. I know that for me I typically go from depressed to further depression, to more depression. When a manic stage does come it is like a huge freakin weight off and I can finally see the sun. I embrace this time knowing it will be gone soon enough. I also accept who I am and the cycles I go through. Unfortunately I cannot change that. If I could be freakin normal, I would take that faster then hell. All I can do is realize I will have bad days, months, and feel freakin suicidal at times. So if I can be happy once in a freak while, I am going to embrace it. Sorry, starting to feel some sort of way.