I have the same problem. I don't understand where people find guys. If I ask it's always "through friends" or "at school/work" or whatever.

I don't understand how people do that. I mean, I have a set group of friends, male and female, but I am not interested in any of them in that way. When I go out it seems everyone just wants to hook up (I'm 23, so it's "that age" where that's all everyone wants to do, men and women) and it's impossible to have a proper conversation. I was active in an organization for many years but didn't find anyone there either. If I try online dating I never seem to find who I'm looking for, besides I find it a bit awkward (my worst nightmare would be if any friends found me on a dating site, I once deleted a profile I had spent a lot of time on because I recognized one of the guys on there). I "know" everyone at school and the people I work with already. I am just a call-in at my work place and most of the others my age there are aswell, so it changes a lot who works there and when. There is one guy there I felt an instant attraction to, my friend thought he was ugly but I disagree (she said "it's too bad he's not good looking, or he would be a total catch") but I suspect he has a girlfriend from something he said once when we all went out for beers after work, and I wouldn't know how to approach him about it, it's awkward when you know you will be seeing each other again and he has worked there longer than me. I don't really understand how I am supposed to meet new people, particularly not "new guys", really. I mean, yes, I sometimes do meet new people at parties etc., but the same applies as the bars. I go out quite a lot and go to quizzes etc., but being chatty with other people there doesn't seem natural. I am too much of a coward to do things alone, such as join meetup.com-groups and stuff because I hate it when there's an established gang that I try to fraternize with if there is no one else in the same situation. But of course, that could be an option. I don't really go to the gym and I certainly don't go there to meet guys, a lot of the guys there seem a bit superficial and I don't exactly feel attractive in the gym.

It is possible I would just have to wait for a few years, until people are less obsessed with hook-ups and more starting to look for someone to love, but I don't want to wait for YEARS. Almost all of my friends have found someone and I feel stupid for not managing to do the same, ever since the relationship I was in ended last spring I have realized I want to be in a relationship, I am a relationship person, not a "wohoo being single is so fun"-person.