I am 53 years old & was sexually molested by one of my brothers. I am also gay (it has nothing to do with that). I have a lot of sexual fantasies about that particular brother raping me & it turns me on ALOT! I often fantasize about setting up a date with him & acting out the rape. Sometimes I feel like I could actually go through with it. Most of the time I can't orgasm (with a partner or while masturbating) without thinking of him raping me...is this normal? I have never told anyone this in my life! When I hear stories of incest, I get very turned on. I am so afraid this isn't normal that I won't tell anyone.