I attended the Wake on Thursday evening. I knew it was going t be hard to see Leo lying in his coffin but I did not know that it would and was harder then I imagined.

I felt very cold to the touch,I could not stop shaking and when Leo's brother come over and took me by the are so I may pay my respects I cried the moment I looked at him. Actually I did more then just cry. I fell apart.

I was so upset that I had to leave the viewing area and disappeared into the Chapel for little while. I found myself praying to God to keep Leo close and to help carry me though yet another downfall in my life.

I myself chose that night that I would not be attending the funeral yesterday. I felt mentally I could not handle it. I was surprised my ex husband understood.

I have my doctor looking into grievance counseling for me know.