I don't know. I guess talk to somebody about how to overcome the feeling that I did something incredibly embarrassing and stupid (in front of about 30 people...)

thanks for talking to me...!

well I can deal with this guy being gone. it's not such a big deal. just don't know what to do with myself and my life and these 30 people. and depression. if I should hide or go out there meet some friends. if I should try again to date somebody or rather give up and not be awkward like this again.
if I should give up on all of this complicated career thing... and ... I don't know. I think I have no other options I would like. that would be giving up on life...
I know this may sound stupid for everyone who has experienced more serious problems in their life. but I guess you cannot compare lifes of people like that and what kind of problems are serious and which aren't.