All good suggestions; yes we have adult married children. In fact, we will be having company this week when my son's family, including our 6-yo grandson, pay us a visit.

I will restrain myself from commenting on my wife's behaviors during the visit. I promised myself to not do so, but it would not surprise me if my son and daughter-in-law say something to her, especailly about the smoking. I dare not let on to them that there are intimacy issues.