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Old Oct 11, 2014, 02:39 PM
JustShakey's Avatar
JustShakey JustShakey is offline
WON'T!!!
 
Member Since: May 2014
Location: Arizona
Posts: 4,576
If it's like what happened with me it will get into termination territory eventually if it's not addressed promptly. Though you could very well spend years going in circles. This kind of relationship is like a bad drug. You need it, but it's killing you.
My whole time with previous T was one long negative maternal transference nightmare. If I tried to get her to listen to me, to what I wanted and needed, she would get angry and hurtful (like my mom). She would be very pleased when I would follow her directions and tell her how important she was to me - that she was one of my favourite people in the world. But I could never be 'good enough', just like with my mom. She always had to find fault with me. Fortunately she had supervision (because she found me difficult to deal with, again, like my mom). Maternal transference was the whole deal with her, so yeah, that's what led to termination.
Not that maternal transference can't be a powerful thing to address and work through. I'm currently working through all the material that came up with her with T, and I can vouch for the fact that it's powerful. I am not the same person I was a year ago. I had no self esteem either.
I just wish I had been able to work through this with previous T. I'm very fond of my T, but I adore previous T.
If I were you I'd bring up all your concerns with your T. Hopefully things will go well and your relationship will get stronger for it. It should go well, honestly, if your T is halfway capable at all. Mine was new and pretty inexperienced. I think it might have been the first time she came up against such strong maternal transference, but truly, the situation is not rare.
If things don't go well you will have to be very strong, because this kind of thing can literally kill the fight in you - put out the light in your soul.
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'...
At poor peace I sing
To you strangers (though song
Is a burning and crested act,
The fire of birds in
The world's turning wood,
For my sawn, splay sounds,)
...'
Dylan Thomas, Author's Prologue
Thanks for this!
CantExplain, dark_sweetie, Freewilled